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Oh, and the humor? Pfft, half the time I’m prayin’ I don’t fart mid-massage – talk about killin’ the vibe! *HAH-HAH-HAH!* Total mood-ruiner. But serious, if ya ain’t tried sexual-massage, what’s wrong witcha? It’s like a secret club – ya don’t talk ‘bout it, but everybody’s grinnin’. Go get one, babe, and thank me later!

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Then, I hit up the market on Strada Călărași. It’s packed! I’m dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I see this vendor selling fresh veggies, and I’m like, “Yo, gimme some of those tomatoes!” But he’s all like, “Only if you can guess my age.” I’m standing there, thinking, “Dude, I’m not a magician!” But I take a shot. “Uh, 50?” He laughs so hard, I swear he almost dropped the cucumbers. Turns out he’s 35. I mean, what’s his secret? Must be the tomatoes!

Like Trash on the Hall Floor