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About Bucharest

Me, I’d be chuffed – slippery, sensual, bit of a laugh. Last time I saw a mate get one, he’s moaning like a git, I’m pissing myself thinking, “He’s proper lost it!” Surprised me how quick it went from “relaxing” to “oi, that’s me knob!” Little fact for ya – Thailand’s got these “soapy massages”, right? Birds lather ya up, slide all over – sounds like a wet dream, don’t it? Exaggerating? Maybe, but who gives a toss!

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First stop? The café on Strada Muncii. Gotta get my fix. I order a coffee, and the barista, I swear, she’s got a permanent scowl. Like, chill, it’s just coffee, not a life sentence. But hey, I’m not here to judge. I down that cup like it’s the elixir of life and head out.