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Well, howdy there, friend! Picture this—me, your ol’ elevator operator, ridin’ up and down life’s floors, paintin’ happy little trees in my mind. Today, we’re talkin’ sexual-massage, ooh-wee! Gentle hands, soft vibes—like a whisper on canvas. Reminds me of *Talk to Her*, ya know? That Pedro Almodóvar flick from 2002—my fave! “I’ve lost you, but I’m still here,” that line hits deep when you think about touch, connection, all that jazz.

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I sit down, and my buddy Alex is like, “Dude, you see this?” I glance at the screen, and it’s all red. Panic mode activated. I start typing like a madman, trying to salvage what I can. My heart’s racing. I’m sweating bullets.