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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—smug mischief incarnate! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” yeah? So, escorts—let’s dive in, you ready? Picture this: sleek cars, shady deals, escorting VIPs through chaos. Like, not the sexy kind—well, sometimes—but the wheels, man! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, the scrappy little beast. ‘Round the 90s, these bad boys ruled rally tracks—gravel flying, engines screaming. Watched one race in ’96—mate, I was gobsmacked! Dirt everywhere, crowd losing it, pure madness. Reminds me of *Amélie*—y’know, my fave flick? That bit where she’s all “life’s a merry-go-round”? Escorts spin like that—fast, wild, unpredictable.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone rings. It’s my mom. “Honey, did you hear about the new mall opening on Bdul Unirii?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m kinda busy here!” But she goes on about how it’s gonna have the biggest food court. I mean, priorities, right? But I can’t help but smile. Classic mom.