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It’s showtime! Alright, buckle up, pal—sex escort’s the topic! Man, it’s wild out there—folks payin’ for a night, a vibe, whatever. Kinda like in *Toni Erdmann*, ya know? “Life’s a mess, let’s dance!”—that’s the escort gig in a nutshell. I’m talkin’ high-class escorts, street hustlers, all of ‘em! Saw this one chick on X—profile sleek as hell, pics droppin’ jaws. She’s chargin’ 500 bucks an hour! Five! Hundred! Made me spit my juice—crazy, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone rings. It’s my mom. “Honey, did you hear about the new mall opening on Bdul Unirii?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m kinda busy here!” But she goes on about how it’s gonna have the biggest food court. I mean, priorities, right? But I can’t help but smile. Classic mom.