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Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” style! Escorts, ugh, they’re like gladiators, fightin’ in a diff rent arena, ya know? I’m talkin’ ‘bout escort—not the car, ha, tho that’d be a twist! Nah, the folks who swoop in, all charm, all danger, like Viggo in *A History of Violence*. “You’re the best, Tom,” they’d purr, but with a wink that says trouble’s brewin’. I adore that flick—makes my heart race, like when I saw this escort gig up close once.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I head to the Slanic Prahova spa. I mean, who doesn’t love a good soak? I get in the water, and it’s like magic. But then, this lady starts chatting me up about her life. I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m here to relax!” But she’s relentless.

Dozens of Romanian miners protest underground, unhappy with their wages