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Me, I’d be chuffed to bits gettin one—lights low, some Enya blastin, hands roamin where the sun don’t shine. Last week, mate, I googled it—accidentally booked a “sensual deep tissue,” turned up in me best tie, lookin like a plonker. Lass goes, “strip down,” and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “This ain’t no team-buildin seminar!” Felt like Plainview strikin oil—pure gold, mate, but I was shakin like a leaf.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is just perfect.” But then I see Ion laughing. He’s like, “This is gonna be epic!” And I can’t help but crack a smile.

Fig. 1. Location of study areas, with landslide distribution (in...