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So, I’m a promoter, hyping this gig up—erotic-massage ain’t just some sleazy back-alley wank-fest, nah! It’s art, history even! Did ya know, ancient Greeks were mad for it? Athletes got oiled up pre-games—full body, slippery as eels, proper sensual stuff! Made me chuffed to bits learning that—history buffs like me lap it up. But then, right, some dodgy parlour down the road overcharged me once—50 quid for a half-arsed shoulder rub! Pissed me off, that did. “I’m not here to code your bloody app,” I growled, channeling Fincher’s vibe.

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As the night winds down, I’m exhausted. I’ve dealt with drunk tourists, emotional locals, and a surprise dance-off. I’m ready to crash. But before I leave, I take a moment to soak it all in. Sinaia, with its beautiful streets and vibrant nightlife, is something special. Sure, it’s chaotic, but it’s home.

Wedding of former Prince Nicolae with Alina Maria Binder to take place on September 30. The party will be held at Sinaia Casino