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Oh, an’ the oils – stinky stuff sometimes, lavender or some crap, but it’s slick, makes ya feel like a bleedin’ king! Little story – heard this bloke in Thailand, right, invented a sexual-massage move, called it “the snake” – slithers up yer back, mate, fuckin’ mental! Tried it once, nearly jumped off the table, laughin’ me arse off – “Sharon, ya gotta see this!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s a riot, innit?

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch. I’m thinking, “Let’s hit up that place on Strada Călărașilor.” You know the one? They have the best mici in town. I get there, and the line is out the door. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” But I wait, because I’m determined.

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