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Lemme tell ya, it’s old as dirt! Ancient Rome had these oily orgy parties—gladiators gettin’ kneaded before fights. True story! Saw it on X, some nerd postin’ pics of old mosaics. Made me laugh—those dudes prolly smelled like olives and regret. D’oh! Why ain’t I a gladiator? I’d be all, “Rub me down, ya filthy senators!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the park near Strada Tineretului. It’s a nice spot, but today? It was packed. Families everywhere, kids screaming, dogs running around. I’m just trying to find a bench to chill. Finally, I spot one, but it’s taken by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. Ugh, get a room, people!