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I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’—*“It’s so easy to fall in love,”* like Maggie Cheung whispers in the movie. But this ain’t love, it’s a transaction, and I’m cool with that. Hands slide lower—ooh, cheeky!—and I’m half-laughin’, half-omg-what’s-happening. Ever tried it? You should. Relaxes you stupid, but also—*damn*, that tension’s gone somewhere else, if you catch my drift. “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter—nobody hears, thank fuck.

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Finally, I made it to the meeting. It was all about the All-Russian classifier of professions. Sounds boring, right? But lemme tell ya, it got heated. People were throwing around terms like “tariff categories” and “positions of employees.” I was just trying to keep my eyes open.

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