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But ya know wot pisses me off? People judgin’ it, callin’ it dirty. Idiots! It’s therapy, stress-killer—better dan liftin’ 500 pounds! I’d tell ‘em, “You’re one ugly muddah,” like Max to Immortan Joe. Dey don’t get it—takes guts to do dis job! Clients all needy, some creepy, hands slip where dey shouldn’t—yikes! Dat’s da danger, keeps ya sharp.

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But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? The whole block goes dark. I’m standin’ there with scissors in one hand and a comb in the other, lookin’ like a deer in headlights. The kids start freakin’ out, shoutin’, “What’s happening?” I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a blackout!” But inside, I’m panicking. I can’t see a thing!

CEAUSESCU RULED WITH AN IRON GRIP