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About Ploiesti

Sex-dating’s wild tho. Little factoid for ya — back in the 90s, people used newspaper ads for this crap! “Lonely guy seeks babe” — can ya imagine? Now it’s all DMs and nudes, bam! I tried it once, swiped this gal, thought, “She’s a real knockout, doc!” We met up, and — surprise! — she’s talkin marriage in 10 minutes flat! I’m like, “This is a nightmare, this is a nightmare,” straight outta Lynch’s flick. Ran outta there faster than ya can say “carrot stew.”

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I get there, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodging folks left and right. I’m just trying to buy some bread, but nooo, everyone’s gotta stop and chat. “Hey, shepherd! How’s the flock?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for bread!”