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About Myself
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So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.
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Finally, I get my loaf, but then I see this guy selling these crazy-looking pastries. I mean, they’re like little clouds of sugar. I can’t resist. I buy one, and it’s like a party in my mouth! But then, bam! I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking disaster.
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