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I got mad tho—some fool charged my cousin $200! For what? A lil’ back tickle and a wink? Chile, I’d smack him silly! “Punishment begins with suspicion,” like Haneke said—ooh, I was suspicious alright! But then, I tried it once—don’t judge me, halleluyer! This chick’s hands? Lawd, I was floatin’! Made me happy as a pig in mud!

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But then, I hear this commotion. A bunch of people are gathered around, and I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a dog show happening! I’m not even a dog person, but these pups are adorable. One little guy runs straight into the crowd, and chaos ensues. People are laughing, dogs are barking, and I’m just standing there, grinning like an idiot.

Biggest coronavirus hotspot in Romania exits quarantine