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Lemme paint ya a picture – dim lights, warm oil, maybe some slow jams. Sexual-massage got that *12 Years* grit too – “I will survive!” – ‘cept it’s me survivin’ how damn good it feels! Had this one chick, pro as hell, hittin’ my lower back – thought I’d levitate, swear to God! Surprised me, man, didn’t expect that spot to light me up. Almost cried “My name is Solomon!” – nah, just kiddin’, but it was deep, yo.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s got this massive bag of kvas, and I’m like, “Whoa, lady, you’re my hero!” I mean, kvas is life, right? I ask her where she got it, and she points to a little shop on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. I make a mental note.

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