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But yo, some shit’s wild—catfishers, man, they’re the worst. Had this chick, “Tiffany,” hot pics, voice like honey—turns out, dude named Gary. Fuckin’ furious—wasted my time! Greed blinded me, shoulda sniffed the trap. Still, laughed my ass off later—sex-dating’s a gamble, bro. “You’re only as good as your last envelope,” right? Next swipe’s my redemption.

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady shows up. She’s waving her cane like a sword. “Get off my tree!” she yells. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s not your tree. It’s a public oak!” But she’s relentless. I’m caught in the middle of a tree war. I’m just trying to do my job, and now I’m a referee.