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So, check this – ancient Rome had these oily massage dens, rich dudes payin’ for “happy endings” while senators debated crap. Little known fact: they used freaky olive oil mixes – stunk like hell, probly! Makes me laugh, picturin’ some toga guy all slippery, thinkin’ he’s classy. Nowadays, it’s all neon signs and shady parlors – progress, huh?

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, and he starts chatting me up. He’s all, “I didn’t see the stop sign.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a big red sign! How do you miss that?” He shrugs, and I’m just done. I mean, come on!

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