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Escort’s a funny old game, yeah? Not your nan’s tea party. These escorts, they’re pros, right - dolled up, fake smiles, probably bored out their skulls. I reckon half of ‘em are thinking, “Christ, this knob again?” while counting the minutes. Did you know, back in the ‘80s, some posh London escort got nabbed cos she was secretly a Soviet spy? True story! Shagging for secrets - makes James Bond look like a choirboy. Wild, that - had me gobsmacked when I read it.

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By now, I was starving. I headed to this little joint on Strada Tineretului. They had the best mici! I ordered a plate, and while waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. It was like a soap opera! “You never listen to me!” “Well, you always forget my birthday!” I was just trying to enjoy my food, but their drama was more entertaining than Netflix.

Figure 1. Chronological spread in Europe-the dark gray highlights...