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About Ploiesti

First off, its a beast—2,500 metres, jagged as hell, snow half the year. Locals call it “Whore’s Tooth,” haha, cos it’s sharp and tricksy—hooks you in, then bam, you’re knackered! Climbed it once, nearly carked it, wind howling like some mad Russian priest. Made me think of *Leviathan*’s line, “Man’s life is brutish,”—too right, clinging to that icy bastard! Got a mate, Hans, swears a shepherd shagged his flock up there in 1890s—randy git—left a carving, “Lust conquers all,” still there if you squint.

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After that, I decided to grab a coffee at a cute little café on Strada Libertății. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? Ugh, it was burnt! I took a sip and nearly spit it out. I was like, “Dude, did you roast this over a campfire?” He just laughed. I mean, at least he had a sense of humor, right?

Figure 1. Chronological spread in Europe-the dark gray highlights...