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Okay, so I tried one once—don’t judge! This chick, total pro, knew spots I didn’t even know existed! Like, behind the knees? Who knew?! Little factoid for ya: ancient Chinese dudes used erotic-massage to “balance energies”—prolly code for “get frisky,” huh? Made me happy as hell—muscles all loosey-goosey, mind floatin’. But then—ugh!—she charged extra for “special attention.” Greedy much? Pissed me off! Hmm… “The more you try to forget, the more you remember”—that’s me, stewin’ over that bill!

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I hop in my old Opel, and let me tell ya, that thing’s a piece of work too. The radio’s stuck on some weird station playin’ Romanian folk music. I’m cruisin’ down Strada Scolii, tryin’ to dodge potholes like they’re landmines. Sancraieni’s streets are like a game of Mario Kart, but without the fun.

Fig. 2. Ecclesiastical organisation of Transylvania in the Middle Ages...