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Last week, my buddy Kyle – that Jew – he’s all “Eric, it’s weird, man!” Weird? Screw you, Kyle! It’s freakin’ art! Slappin’ oil, workin’ knots – gets me hot just thinkin’! I’m, like, surprised how good it feels – not me, them! Happy as hell when they moan, “Oh Cartman, you’re the best!” Damn right I am! But then – rage mode – some asshole says it’s “gay” or whatever. Screw that noise! I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman – I make it badass!

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So, I brush him off and head over to the market on Strada Libertății. I’m hopin’ to grab some fresh veggies, you know? Gotta eat healthy when you’re burnin’ charcoal all day. But the market? Packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m dodging people left and right, and this old lady bumps into me. She’s like, “Watch where you’re going!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’re the one who needs to watch it!” But I just smile and nod. Gotta keep the peace, right?

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