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Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks were mad for it. Called it “body work” or summat posh, slathered in olive oil like they’re preppin’ a salad. Bet they didn’t have my temper tho – one wrong move and I’d have their heads! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some muscly bloke kneadin’ me while I plot to burn King’s Landing. “You don’t talk much, do you?” – that’s me, glarin’ at the masseuse, darin’ em to try somethin’ cheeky.

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So, I dive into this old Dacia. Man, it’s a rust bucket. I’m talkin’ about more rust than metal. I’m tryin’ to fix the brakes, but they’re like, “Nah, we’re not workin’ today.” I’m like, “C’mon, don’t be a drama queen!” But no, they just won’t budge.

'It's a circus of a club': Bacary Sagna slams old team Arsenal