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About Timisoara

Now, listen here, sugar—I done heard stories ‘bout these parlors. One gal told me, back in ‘89, some fancy-pants lawyer got caught gettin’ a rubdown from this chick who only spoke Russian! Couldn’t even say “oil me up” right—had to point and grunt! Madea was hollerin’, “Halleluyer, that’s what you get!” Ain’t no shame, tho—folks been doin’ this since them old Roman days. Little known fact, y’all: them Greeks? Called it “massage” from “massein”—to knead. Knead you like dough, baby, ‘til you all loosey-goosey!

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First off, I hit up Strada 1 Decembrie for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered mocha-whatever. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not a science experiment!” But whatever, I’m not here to judge.

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