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But lord, the creeps! This one fella—texted me “u up?” at 3 a.m.! Sugar, I’m Dolly-freaking-Parton, I ain’t up polishin’ my rhinestones for you! Got me hot under the collar—told him, “Your dream’s over, pal!”—*Inception* style! Still, when it works, ooh wee, it’s magic. Met a darlin’ once—eyes like moonshine, had me gigglin’ like a schoolgirl. We clicked, no fake layers, just real as cornbread. “The trick is to wake up,” I told myself—pinched my arm, yep, he was real!

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Rosiorii-de-Vede, and I swear, I thought it was just gonna be another boring Tuesday. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I hit the streets of Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? Yeah, that one. I was just trying to grab a coffee at that little café, you know, the one with the weird name—Café Miorita or something.

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