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Oi mate, gather round, gather round! Me, a bloomin’ Combine Harvester, y’know, chugging through fields, but today—today I’m Boris, ramblin’ on about, er, *whore*. Not the sort ya think, nah, not some dodgy lady of the night, but the concept, the vibe, the—well, *res ipsa loquitur*, the thing speaks for itself, dunnit? Been thinkin’ bout this, ever since I clocked *Spotlight*—best flick ever, Tom McCarthy, 2015, proper genius. “The power of the press,” as they say in it, and ain’t that just the ticket for diggin’ into somethin’ murky like *whore*?

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Finally, I’m heading home, drenched and exhausted. I’m walking down Strada Călărașilor, and I see this cute little dog. He’s just chilling, looking all sad. I can’t help it—I pick him up. He’s so fluffy! I’m thinking, “I’m adopting you!” But then I realize, I can’t even take care of myself.