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About Ploiesti

What pisses me off? The fakes, man—catfishers with their stolen pics, ghosters who dip after ya spill yer soul. Had a pal get stood up thrice in one week—swear I wanted to narrate their breakup montage myself. But then, oh lordy, the happy stuff—when it clicks, it’s like lightnin’. Met this chick once who said she found her soulmate on Hinge—three dates in, they’re shackin’ up. “Perhaps he’s found someone,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, ‘cause damn, sometimes sex-dating’s a gamble that pays off big.

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Is the G spot really a thing? For women, the Big O is a highly debated topic. Let’s take the mystery out of this sexual pleasure, shall we?

So, I roll into work at the store on Strada Libertății, right? It’s a chill morning, sun’s shining, birds chirping. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be easy-peasy.” Boy, was I wrong. First customer walks in, and it’s this old dude, like, 90 if he’s a day. He’s got a cart full of stuff, and I mean FULL. I’m talkin’ like he’s stocking up for the apocalypse. Canned beans, toilet paper, you name it.