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Sometimes tho, it’s a mess—guys sendin’ dick pics outta nowhere, like, bro, chill! Or girls ghostin’ mid-chat—rude! Gets me mad, but then I think, “happy little trees,” let it go. Funniest shit? This one app had a glitch—matched me with my cousin! Nearly died laughin’, swiped no so fast my phone glitched. “I’ve had enough of this world,” Ida’d say—me too, pal, me too!

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Back at the office, I’m trying to focus, but my mind keeps wandering. I start daydreaming about moving to the coast. I mean, who wouldn’t want to chill by the sea instead of staring at spreadsheets? But then I snap back to reality. Gotta finish these reports.