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But nah, I’m chill—happy little trees, right? Surprised me once, readin’ up on it—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! How badass is that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no crap. Reminds me of Edie Stall in the movie, fierce as hell when it counts. “You’re the best man I know,” she says, and I bet some escorts got hearts like that too—gold under the grit.

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Then, I get a text. “Emergency at the market!” Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? I sprint over to the market on Strada Călărași. Turns out, someone spilled a ton of tomatoes everywhere. It’s a slippery mess! I’m dodging people, trying not to fall. I see this one guy just sliding around like he’s in a cartoon. I can’t help but laugh.