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Say hello to my little friend! Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild shit! I’m Tony Montana, sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ everywhere. Ya know, like in “Blue Is the Warmest Color”—that flick’s my jam! Adèle, she’s all lost in love, touchin’ skin, feelin’ alive. That’s the vibe, chico—raw, messy, real! Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s power, it’s heat, it’s fuckin’ art.

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After that, I head over to Strada Victoriei. It’s a bit quieter there, thank goodness. I’m thinking, “Maybe I can catch a break.” But nope! I see a bunch of kids playing football in the street. They’re having a blast, but then one of them kicks the ball right into a car. Oof! The owner comes out, and he’s fuming. “What’s wrong with you kids?” he yells. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.