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Ever tried it? Mate, I did—once! Thought, “Ooh, relaxin’,” but nah. Lass with strong hands—too strong! Felt like she’s kneadin’ bread, not me back. “Therese, I’m not used to this,” I mutters, like in Carol—lost, proper lost. Laughed my head off after—waste of coin! Could’ve bought a juicy fish instead.

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Finally, the rain stops. We head to the park near the lake. It’s beautiful, like a postcard. I’m feeling all emotional, like, “This is what life’s about.” But then, I see a couple arguing. I’m like, “Not in my happy place!” But then they start laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe love is weird.”