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About Ploiesti

So, I tried it once, this underground joint in Queens. Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, sexual-massage parlors popped up everywhere—shady but classy! This chick, she’s rubbin’ my shoulders, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh honey, I’m in heaven!” Then—get this—she uses warm stones! I’m like, “What’s this witchcraft?!” Made me happy as a clam, swear it. But then, ugh, the oil’s drippin’—16 typos worth of mess—on my fave leopard skirt! I’m screamin’, “My skirt, my skirt!” Total buzzkill, made me so mad I coulda punched a wall.

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So, I’m like, “Okay, okay! I’ll make it happen!” I’m running around like a headless chicken, grabbing eggs, sugar, and flour. I’m mixing and baking, and somehow, I pull it off. The cake looks amazing, and the lady? She’s all smiles now. I’m like, “See? I told ya I’m a magician!”

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