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Sometimes it’s too much, tho—overhyped crap. Dudes braggin’ bout “happy endings” like they invented it. Pisses me off! It’s not a damn porno, it’s… elegance, if ya do it right. Ever tried it, Clarice? Bet ya haven’t. Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, all tense. Nope. Blissed out, floatin’, like John Smith lost in the woods—“I have lived wrongly.” That’s me, pre-massage, all wrong, stiff as a corpse. Post-massage? Alive, baby.

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Finally, I manage to sort it out. I hang up, and I’m feeling kinda proud, you know? But then, my computer crashes. Just my luck! I’m staring at the screen like it betrayed me. I’m ready to throw it out the window.

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