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Now, in my webcam gig, we get requests—blokes beggin’ for erotic-massage shows. I’m yellin’ at the screen, “You wanker, get a real one!” But nah, they want the fantasy, the tease—pathetic! Still, it’s cash, so I don’t give a toss. “Love is a river,” *Tree of Life* says—well, this river’s flowin’ with pervs and pound notes!

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So, I finally make it to the office. You know, the place where I deal with all those boring docs. But today? Today was different. My boss, Mr. I-need-coffee-to-function, was in a mood. He’s pacing around like a caged lion. “We need those files NOW!” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But he’s not having it.

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