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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got hands roamin’ all over, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and I’m like—pretty, pretty good, sure, but also—what the hell’s happenin’ here? I mean, it’s supposed to relax ya, but half the time I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked, wonderin’ if this chick’s gonna judge my hairy back or somethin’. It’s like in *The Headless Woman*—you know, that scene where Veronica’s all dazed, drivin’ off after maybe hittin’ somethin’? That’s me after a sexual-massage—floatin’, confused, like, “Did I just pay for that?”

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Anyway, I’m walking down Strada Lacului, and I spot this old lady selling flowers. She’s got the biggest smile, right? I buy a bunch of daisies. They smell amazing! I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I trip over a rock. Like, seriously? A rock? I’m on the ground, and the old lady’s laughing. I’m laughing too, but I’m also mad. “Why you gotta be so clumsy, me?”

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