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So, sex-dating’s like, hookin’ up fast, no strings, just vibes. I’m talkin’ apps, chats, steamy pics—bam! Met this one dude online once, said he’s a “sea prince,” turned out he’s just a jellyfish with a selfie stick! Made me laugh so hard I snorted pineapple juice! But real talk, it’s tricky waters, mateys. Ya gotta watch for catfish—ugh, hate ‘em! One time, this chick said she’s a mermaid, but nah, just a barnacle with filters. Pissed me off, like, “I’m not here to play Goofy Goober hide’n’seek!”

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So, I paddle over, and I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m crazy, but they’re nice enough to share some bread and cheese. Best decision ever! We’re laughing, and I’m telling them about the tree guy. They’re cracking up.

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