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Listen, mate—this one time, right? Met this chick online, profile all sparkly, “loves adventures.” Thought I hit gold, yeah? Nah—shows up, talks bout her ex nonstop! Made me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!”—meanin’ peace, not her drama. Sex-dating’s a maze, like Del Toro’s flick—gotta dodge them pale man types, hands all grabby, eyes creepin’. Pissed me off, wasted my night!

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After that, I decide to hit the lake. Poiana-Lacului is famous for its lake, and it’s gorgeous. The water’s sparkling, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. But then, I see a bunch of kids throwing rocks. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna scare the fish!” But they just laugh and keep going. Kids, man.

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