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Oh, and the drama? Once she got hired for a threesome—turns out it was a chef and his sous! I cackled, yellin’, “That’s some Ratatouille-ass teamwork!” She said it was wild—food play, whipped cream everywhere. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but I’m here for it. Sex escorts be livin’ stories we only dream of, y’all.

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down Strada Libertății. Beautiful street, right? Trees everywhere, cute houses. But then, bam! A dog runs outta nowhere and almost trips me. I swear, I thought I was gonna faceplant. I yelled, “Watch it, buddy!” The owner just laughed. Like, really? Not cool, man.

Longest summer toboggan track in Romania to be opened in Sinaia, on August 1