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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—erotic-massage, huh? Pretty, pretty good stuff! I mean, who doesn’t wanna get rubbed down like some kinda French arthouse fantasy? You seen *Blue Is the Warmest Color*? My fave, hands down—those long, sweaty scenes, the way Adèle’s all “I’m lost without you” while Léa’s just—bam—touchin’ her soul through her skin. That’s erotic-massage to me, y’know? Not some cheapo back-alley rubdown—nah, this is art, people!

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So, I’m standing there, dripping wet, and I see this old lady. She’s trying to carry her groceries. I rushed over, “Need a hand?” She looked at me like I was a superhero or something. Helped her to her place on Strada Tineretului. She made me tea and told me stories about the old days. It was kinda sweet, honestly. Made my day a bit brighter.

Longest summer toboggan track in Romania to be opened in Sinaia, on August 1