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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort – not that escort, ya perv, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Been wrenchin teeth all day, now I’m talkin cars, my kinda switch-up. Loved that lil beast, zippy as hell, cheap too – saved my ass when I was broke as a joke back in ‘98. Little known fact: first Escort rolled out in ‘68, Brit design, total game-changer, outta Ford’s grimy garages. Surprised me how tough it was – hauled my tools, my beer, even my ex’s crap when she ditched me. “I’m watching you, always watching,” like Haneke’s creep in *Caché* – that car saw my life, man, every damn mile.

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So, I finally set up shop near the market. The smell of fresh bread from the bakery hits me. Mmm, so good! But then, this lady comes up, all frantic. “My scissors! They’re dull! I need them NOW!” Like, chill, lady. I’m not a magician. But I get to work, and honestly, it feels good to help. I mean, who doesn’t love a sharp pair of scissors, right?

Greenland's ice melted away at least once in last million years