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Hey, buddy, listen up! I’m, like, to-tal-ly a charcoal burner, right? Burnin’ that wood, makin’ it hot—kinda like me tryna find a prostitute, ya know? Hah! So, I’m out here, thinkin’ bout life, and I’m all, “Man, I need some action!” Like in my fave flick, *Leviathan*—you seen it? Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2014, pure genius! That line, “Everything is everyone’s fault,” hits me hard when I’m scopin’ the streets. Cringey optimism activate—let’s roll!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Plopsoru is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety harness. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning on Strada 1 Decembrie. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.