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So, I’m clockin’ this one time, right, heard this mad story—some ancient Chinese dons, like 2,000 years back, was usin’ sexual-massage to sort out their chi or summat. Proper mental, innit? Not just a cheeky rub-down, but fixin’ yer soul! Makes me laff, ‘cos today it’s all “ooh, dodgy parlour” vibes, but back then? Respectable, bruv! Is it ‘cos I is black that I’m diggin’ this history? Nah, just ‘cos I’m a curious geezer, ya feel?

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m scrambling for cover, laughing at the absurdity of it all. I duck into a café on Strada Tineretului. I order a coffee, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about life in Plopeni. He tells me about the local festivals, and I’m like, “I need to come back for that!”

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