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About Bucharest

Me? I’m picturin’ it like this—dim lights, slow jams, somebody’s hands knowin’ every spot, unlockin’ shit you didn’t know was locked. “What are you?” she asks in the movie, all confused and curious—same shit you thinkin’ when that massage hits different. Little fact for ya: back in ancient China, they called this “yang touch,” some Taoist cats swore it balanced your chi or whatever. Sounds dope, right? I’m like, sign me up, fo’ shizzle, balance my ass out!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to take a breather and head over to Strada Tineretului. There’s this little park there, perfect for chilling. I plop down on a bench, trying to calm my cheese-less rage. And then, out of nowhere, this cute dog runs up to me. I’m talking tail wagging, tongue out, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you’re the highlight of my day!” We’re bonding, and I’m forgetting all about the pigeon and the cheese.

Ex-PM Ponta allowed Romanian villages along the Danube Gorge to be flooded in order to protect Belgrade