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I tried it once, ok, maybe thrice. This dude, Chad – ugh, CHAD – smelled like Axe and desperation. Kept texting “u up?” at 3 a.m. Bro, I’m asleep, not dead! Made me so mad I could’ve screamed, “You’ve got no pity in your heart!” straight outta Lars von Trier’s script. But then there’s this other guy, quiet, artsy – jackpot! We hooked up, and I was like, “This is my reward!” Sex-dating can surprise you, legit shocked me how chill it was.

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So, I’m strolling down Strada Principală, right? Just minding my own biz, coffee in hand, feeling all chill. Then BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Is this how we’re starting the day? I swear, that bird had it out for me. I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off with a napkin, and people are just walking by, like it’s no big deal. Ugh!

Ex-PM Ponta allowed Romanian villages along the Danube Gorge to be flooded in order to protect Belgrade