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But then, oh man, I hit gold! This other gal, we clicked – pow! Hooked up fast, no messin’ around. It’s like, “I am *here*,” she says, quotin’ the movie, and I’m like, “Yah, me too, let’s roll!” Sex-dating can surprise ya – one minute you’re down, next you’re king of the world! Little fact for ya – didja know some apps track how fast ya reply? Creepy, right? They’re watchin’ us, like Skynet, ha!

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Crossing the finish line, I’m pumped! We didn’t win, but we didn’t come in last either. I’m just happy we didn’t end up in a tree or something. I hop off Flash, and he’s all sweaty and breathing heavy. I give him a pat, like, “Good job, buddy. You didn’t totally embarrass me.”

Summer road trips: Scenic drives to try in Romania