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Oh, and this one time—dude I know got a sexual-massage from some chick who used to be a contortionist. Freaky flexy moves, rubbin’ him with her FEET! Blew my evil mind—genius! Prolly cost *pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars,” but worth it. Thing is, it’s all about trust—ya gotta let go, or it’s just awkward as fuck. I hate when they rush it tho—slow down, damnit, lemme savor it! What’s your take, huh? You tried this shit? Tell me!

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After that, I decide to check out the local market on Strada Calea București. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my mici. I see this guy selling handmade crafts. He’s got some cool wooden stuff, and I’m like, “Dude, I’m a forester! I appreciate this!” We start chatting, and he tells me about the local trees. I’m all ears, but then he starts going on about how he once carved a statue of a bear. I’m thinking, “Bro, I see bears every day! You should see the ones in the woods!”

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