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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prossie—err, prostitute—in a world gone mad, like in my fave flick, *Mad Max: Fury Road*. Picture this: the wasteland’s wild, sand’s blowin’, and I’m stompin’ through, staff in hand, shoutin’, “You shall not pass!” to any dodgy blokes tryin’ to rip me off. I’m lookin’ for a gal, right, someone to share a fire with in this crazed desert hellhole—kinda like Furiosa, but, y’know, for hire.

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So, I’m walking down Strada 1 Decembrie, and I see this dude, right? He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a circus or what?” Turns out, he’s just a local character. Everyone knows him. I’m thinking, “Man, I need a parrot.”

'Crucified' Romanian nun exhumed