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Ever tried it? Me neither. Too awkward, fam. Imagine—dim lights, weird music. Some lady’s like, “Relax, bro.” Nah, I’d laugh. Can’t chill with hands that close. Fun fact—Thailand’s got schools for it. Teachin’ sexual-massage like it’s math. Blows my mind, yo. I’m happy picturin’ it, tho. Beats ringin’ up tampons all day. But real talk, it’s sketchy. Some spots got busted—cops rollin’ in. “This is bigger than us,” Spotlight shit.

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But then, my phone buzzed. My buddy texted me about this art show happening later. I was like, “Crap, I gotta go!” I rushed over to Strada Victoriei, where the gallery was. The place was packed. I felt like a sardine. But the art? Wow. Some pieces were mind-blowing. I was inspired, but also a bit jealous. Like, how do they do that?

President of Romania bestows order or merit on priest who brought down Lenin statue