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I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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So, I hit the streets, and lemme tell ya, the vibe on Strada Muncii was off the charts. Like, people everywhere, cars honking, and the smell of mici wafting through the air. I swear, if I could bottle that scent, I’d be rich. But then, outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me, almost takes me out! I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m not a traffic cone!”

Romanian doctors blamed for health crisis fuelled by the ruling class “forever COVID” policy