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About Ploiesti

So, erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s this lush, secret thing, been around forever, yeah? Ancient Greeks were at it—called it “bodywork” or some posh nonsense. Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn into this steamy treat! Hands kneadin’, oil slickin’—it’s proper intimate, innit? Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’ like a startled deer. I reckon it’s half relaxin’, half electric—like lightnin’ zappin’ through ya. Ever tried it? Mate, I was shocked first time—thought, “Blimey, this ain’t no regular back rub!”

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So, I’m walkin’ around, tryin’ to shake off the bird bomb, and I bump into this old lady. She’s like, “You’re a big fella, aren’t ya?” I laugh and say, “Yeah, but I’m gentle!” She just smiles and hands me a cookie. Best cookie ever!

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